Sunday, May 29, 2011

No more Pity Party...

"Use your life to serve the world..." -Oprah Winfrey


After a severe Pity Party this evening, I decided to watch the final episode of Oprah.  She spoke of using "where you are" as a platform for helping others.  This struck a serious cord with me.  I've been down about summer coming up, and still on IV antibiotics.  I want to get in the pool with my son, enjoy carefree time in the sun, and just "be free" this summer, but NTM isn't allowing me to do so.  My "situation" feels like ropes tying me down and keeping me from doing what I want to do.


I realized today that for most of Gage's life, he's known Mommy to be"sick." That's frustrating to me.  But then I think to myself, you know it could be much worse.  This is not a life-threatening disease.  Though it's quite annoying and gets in the way A LOT, I'm still here and I'm still able to live my life.  THAT is a blessing. I'm still able to be a mom, a wife, a teacher, a daughter, a sister, a friend.  And for that, I will be thankful.


I want God to use my circumstances somehow to help others.  No one knows how or when He will do so, but I believe He will use this situation in some awesome way.  


I have about 2 more weeks to wait for results on my last bronchoscope.  We're hopeful that mycobacterium only shows up in samples from my right middle lobe.  If that's the case, that part of my lung will be removed this summer and a huge part of this journey will, hopefully, come to a very happy ending.  If it's in other parts of my lungs, we'll have to go back to the drawing board. 


You may have some situation in your life that is also "tying" you down.  If that's the case, let's be in this together, trusting God that it's not for "nothing," but for SOMETHING. 


Thank you to all of those that continue to support me on this journey.